Unintentional Rivals
by Vva70
Summary: Has the contender finally arrived who can defeat the cat-fist technique force for force? Multi-part spamfic.
1. Fear and Anger

**Disclaimer: **This story is a fan-work, and I do not own the original source material. It is intended that any use of copywrite-protected material fall under the Fair Use doctrine, and that this should be a transformative work that provides new value without creating a market substitute for the original. Please don't sue me.

**Part One: Fear and Anger**

Nabiki pondered the circumstances that brought them all to this situation.

The warning signs had been obvious enough. No one had been naive enough to believe that the Worldwide Cat Exhibition could come to Nerima without provoking a crisis. Oh, they had made a valiant effort to keep Ranma separated from the felines. Nabiki had put her own best efforts into the separation, courtesy of several generous financial contributions from a variety of individuals. But everyone knew from the beginning that it was futile.

The second problem had been a bit more subtle. Oh, plenty of people noticed the lone westerner's arrival. The initial assumption was that he was yet another individual come to challenge Ranma. Thus trouble, but of a more manageable sort. When he failed to issue a challenge, and no other motivation for his presence was apparent, no one knew whether to be relieved or all the more worried.

What everyone failed to see coming was that the two problems in town would only compound one another. When the inevitable animal escape happened, the resulting cat-state of Ranma's might have been handled without significant property damage, if not for the stranger's presence. Unfortunately, an easy resolution was simply not to be. As expected from an incident in which Ranma was involved, a fight ensued.

The true surprise in all this was the capability possessed by Ranma's opponent. Nabiki had never before seen anyone capable of handling the full brunt of the cat-fist technique. Yet that was exactly what was happening here. Slashes from the cat-crazed martial artist, capable of shredding wood without even making physical contact, were hardly affecting the stranger. And the few times the cat-minded martial artist had been on the receiving end of hits, all observers could see that they _hurt_. Fortunately, Ranma was consistently managing to avoid nearly every rock-shattering blow.

The battle had been going on for well over a half-hour already. That was enough to give Nabiki significant pause. After all, all throughout the fight, she could tell that Ranma's cat-psyche was becoming more and more fearful of his opponent. And just as a cat is most dangerous when cornered, the more afraid cat-Ranma became, the more powerful he became. And yet it seemed that this foe was matching every increase in power Ranma underwent.

"Mmmrrrroooowwwww!" Ranma yowled as he leapt towards his opponent yet again.

"Hulk smash!" his over-large opponent responded, swinging a meaty green fist at the elusive human-feline.

Nabiki sighed. She would have to do double-duty to avoid having her family pay for property damages when this was over. At least the betting pool was healthy. However this turned out, things were going to be ugly.


	2. Dramatic Irony

**Part Two: Dramatic Irony**

Ranma pondered the circumstances that brought him to this situation.

He had been mortified to find out that not only had he given in to the cat-fist once again, but that he had, in fact, _lost_. Of course, the loss didn't exactly count, what with a freak ball of yarn blowing through the battlefield and distracting him, leaving him wide open to a big green fist.

Or so he'd been told. That was perhaps the most frustrating aspect of the loss. Ranma had been under the cat-fist, which meant he couldn't remember what had happened. Which in turn meant that he still hadn't learned anything about his opponent's fighting style. Oh, he had been given the typical run-downs from his father, Happosai, and the old ghoul, but of course they had amounted to nothing more than "this fight looks too tough for you; give up and save yourself the embarrassment." He was pretty sure they had all been just trying to provoke him into increasing his efforts, but the advice was still useless.

One thing was for certain. Ranma Saotome never lost. At least not in the end.

So he had located the American and asked for a rematch. The fact that he was initially rebuffed was nothing new. The fact that his opponent wasn't at all proud of his victory, and was in fact continually trying to avoid Ranma _was_ uncommon. Of course Ranma was nothing if not persistent, and while Banner's tolerances were high, annoyance and frustration eventually succeeded in bringing out his uglier side.

Ranma had quickly learned that to allow even a single blow from this opponent to land was a recipe for disaster. He also learned that the Hulk's hide was even tougher than Ryoga's. Some two-hundred-thirty punches in the same location had caused his foe pain...and made it madder...and that was about it. His Moko Takabisha had barely caused the green man to budge.

Of course one technique in his arsenal had seemed uniquely suited to this fight. It hadn't been at all difficult to create the spiral pattern (though due to the Hulk's size and leaping ability it was far larger than normal). Though no battle aura was visible around his foe, Ranma could practically choke on the hot qi being put out. When he produced the final uppercut of the Hiryu Shoten Ha, it was larger than any he had previously produced. The Hulk was thrown violently out of visual range.

So of course Ranma had been a bit surprised when the Hulk returned to the scene less than a minute later, apparently by a single leap.

Repeating the Hiryu Shoten Ha had surprisingly been quite possible. His opponent was either too simple or too blinded by rage to figure out how Ranma's tornado-generating technique worked, or how to stop it. Unfortunately, though each successive whirlwind was more powerful than the last (and caused quite a bit more damage to the surrounding property), every one had resulted in the Hulk simply leaping back, seemingly none the worse for wear.

Now, some may assume that Ranma's poor study habits would result in a poor grasp of math. And, well, they'd be right. But the martial artist had an unnaturally strong intuitive grasp on projectile physics. He needed it, given the highly aerial style of martial arts practiced by himself and his father. So as the distances over which his opponent was being thrown had become more and more ridiculous, he had begun to formulate a plan.

With great care, the spiral was traced for his largest Hiryu Shoten Ha yet. Though it had been difficult to move with such precision while still avoiding being pounded into the pavement by someone with more strength than Lime, it had been completed. And the attack had sent the Hulk off with force enough to cross an ocean, in a path straight for the one place that Ranma could pinpoint better than any satellite.

Of course, in thinking of all the springs of Jusenkyo that could de-power this monster, the young practitioner of Anything-Goes had forgotten the largest driving power behind the cursed training ground: dramatic irony. Thus it was that an over-large, green-skinned _Akane_, wearing stretchy purple pants and a purple sports bra (where had that come from?), had come leaping back at him, mallet ready to swing. "Ranma you jerk! Hulk smash!"

Ranma sighed, as he sailed across Japan courtesy of Akane-Hulk Airlines. This didn't count as a loss...for some reason. He was sure of that.

* * *

Bruce Banner pondered the circumstances that brought him to this situation.

Or at least he tried. There was absolutely no explanation he could come up with for why he was now a woman.


	3. Something Incredible

**Part Three: Something Incredible**

General Ross pondered the circumstances that brought him to this situation.

When Banner had been located in Tokyo, Thunderbolt had expected a major headache trying to talk the allied nation into allowing his unit to operate on their territory. He had not expected the embassy to say "wait, you said Nerima? Oh sure, bring as many troops as you want. Go ahead and shoot the place up or whatever. Just don't let the collateral damage escape outside the ward."

The general had been certain that the man was joking. It took three sources of independent confirmation to convince him that yes, permission _was_ going to be that easy to acquire.

The first indication that the ease of getting permission would not cross over into ease of operation came when his point squad had their location revealed by finding themselves mysteriously awash in womens' underwear, and soon afterwards set upon by a crowd of irate local women with improvised weapons. Poor McNee would be spending half a week with a proctologist, and would probably never be able to look at an electric iron the same way again.

The commotion had alerted Banner, of course. That he got the chance to run was not entirely unexpected. The man was slippery. That he was able to throw off chase within minutes was inexcusable. Ross didn't for a minute believe that he had gotten the full story yet on how that had happened. After all, the way the men told it, Banner must have somehow ducked into a restaurant, swapped clothing with some wet, blue-haired Japanese teenage girl, and escaped out a nonexistent back exit all within about ten seconds.

The restaurant patrons were no help, not wanting to get involved at all, and Thunderbolt had no authority to force their cooperation. The obvious answer that the girl was somehow Banner in disguise was easily disprovable. Never mind that she was very clearly female and significantly shorter than the physicist, but she was also far stronger than his non-green form. This as evidenced by the bruise her slap had left on Ramirez' cheek after he had stared at her a little too hard. That and the fact that the slap had sent him flying across the room.

Just as the mission had appeared to be an irrecoverable failure, fortune had given them a second chance. The Hulk had been spotted several blocks away from where Banner had disappeared, fighting some teenager (almost certainly a mutant, judging by the way he was dancing around the blows). The teenage girl from the restaurant was watching from the sidelines, though she had somehow managed to dry herself and change clothes in short order.

Even though the general saw the next few events himself, he still couldn't be sure what had happened. The appearance of a child on the battlefield, a de-transformed and half-conscious Banner being carried off the battlefield by the young mutant who was jumping (jumping!) over buildings, and this new threat...

"Delinquents! All of you! Hinako smash!"

Yes, this new threat. This preteen girl turned half-crazed giant green (yet stunningly beautiful) woman.

General Ross sighed. Getting to Banner would have to wait. For now, apparently, he had an Incredible Hinako to deal with.


End file.
